Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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