we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
jump out the window naked night went bad
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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