Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
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Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
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Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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