I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she looked like the before picture.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
