I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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