His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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