No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Randomize
