this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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