dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
