u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
im holly from the hills drunk
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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