...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
