addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
