Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
