My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
