Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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