Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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