There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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