I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize