Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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