I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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