Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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