you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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