idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
