If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize