They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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