Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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