Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
