i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
