great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
