I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
