oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
