So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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