yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
