i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
