I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
