The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
