Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
