Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
