i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
