I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
