No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
