that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
