Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
