i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
