sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
