While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So vagazzling was a success
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
