You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I look better un-naked...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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