i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
