You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
