On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
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I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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