i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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