nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
We smell like vodka and hangover
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