so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
our cab driver is having phone sex.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
