he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
