you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
