Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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