Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
