mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
