the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
