Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
