Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
