I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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