oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
