You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
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just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
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I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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