they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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