dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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