okay pat passed out under dana's car
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
