I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
