my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize