I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
