there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
only if we run a train.
done.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
