Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So gin and wine won't be happening again
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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